How to love thy neighbor: 5 steps to making impactful relationships

In Mark 12:30-31, Jesus calls his followers to obey two commands. The first is to love the Lord with all their heart, soul, mind and strength. The second is to love their neighbor as themselves. To close these verses, he says there is no commandment greater than these.

When looking at the Greek origin of the word “neighbor,” it means someone near or close to you. Our neighbors are our friends, family, the homeless, children in foster care, people living in poverty and the widow down the street. These are the people we are to love just like Jesus did. We are called to meet the needs of others and love deeply. 

Loving others starts by building deep and meaningful relationships. When we can empathize with others, this is when we can truly love. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 paints a picture of what true love is. It says, “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” 

5 steps to making impactful relationships 

1. Make time for others. 

To form relationships, you have to give lots of time. To know people, you must spend time with them. Take your neighbor out to dinner. Invite the widow to coffee every week. Get to know their story and where they come from. When we invest in others, we can know their hearts. 

2. Listen well. 

When others know they have our full attention, this is when they feel safe to open up and be vulnerable. Listening well looks like asking questions, making eye contact and not interrupting. Let them know you are listening through your body language and words. 

3. Be consistent. 

Reach out to your neighbor and invite them into your life. Continue to pursue the relationship and invest in their life. Show up for them when they need you most. Celebrate, cry, mourn and laugh with them. 

4. Pray for others. 

One of the best ways to love others is to pray for them. As people begin to open up to you, take note of what is on their heart. Let them know you are praying for them and maybe ask if you can pray for them right in the moment. 

5. Be encouraging. 

An encouraging word can change the trajectory and outlook of one’s life. Speak truth and life over people and their circumstances. Affirm people and remind them that there is a God who is always with them and going before them. 

When we love our neighbors, this is when they can see Jesus. Jesus was and is the ultimate example of true, selfless love. We can look at his life and character for what it means to love thy neighbor.

“And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”

Mark 12:30-31